15 Best Ducky Quotes From NCIS

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The best quotes from Ducky in NCIS perfectly captured the quirky and endearing personality of Dr. Donald “Ducky” Mallard. For over two decades, David McCallum portrayed the team’s beloved chief medical examiner, leaving an indelible mark on the series. Sadly, in NCIS Season 21, Ducky departed the show following McCallum’s death at the age of 90. In a fitting tribute, the NCIS cast honored their cherished colleague and friend in a special Ducky-focused episode.

In light of McCallum’s passing, Ducky’s memorable quotes have become even more treasured. His character, brimming with Scottish charm and wisdom, delivered countless iconic lines throughout his time on the show. These quotes span every era of NCIS, showcasing McCallum’s enduring presence as a series veteran until his real-life passing mirrored his character’s departure in Season 21.

Here are 15 of the best Ducky quotes from NCIS that perfectly capture his wit, wisdom, and charm:

  1. “The dead have their secrets, but they tell them only to me.”
    • Ducky’s unique way of reminding everyone that his work reveals hidden truths.
  2. “I’m a doctor. When someone dies, it’s my job to find out how and why.”
    • A classic line that highlights Ducky’s dedication to his profession.
  3. “You can learn a lot from a dead body.”
    • Ducky’s practical, albeit morbid, perspective on his work.
  4. “Oh, the stories I could tell you… but then, of course, I’d have to kill you.”
    • A humorous take on his wealth of knowledge.
  5. “Ah, there’s a certain freedom in being completely screwed, Jethro.”
    • Ducky’s optimistic outlook, even in difficult situations.
  6. “You know, I used to be able to fit into these pants.”
    • A lighthearted moment reflecting Ducky’s self-awareness and humor.
  7. “It’s not what we know that gets us into trouble, it’s what we know for sure that just ain’t so.”
    • A Ducky-ism that demonstrates his philosophical side.
  8. “Memory is a complicated thing, a relative to truth but not its twin.”
    • A deep insight into the nature of human recollection.
  9. “The best cure for a guilty conscience is honesty.”
    • Ducky offering moral wisdom to his teammates.
  10. “You can always count on the dead to tell you the truth.”
    • Another reminder of Ducky’s trust in his craft and in the deceased.
  11. “It’s one thing to be young and full of ideas, but you must temper them with patience and experience.”
    • Ducky advising the younger members of the team with his years of wisdom.
  12. “Jethro, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s about the nature of humanity.”
    • Often offering Gibbs profound insights into life and human behavior.
  13. “The bad guys don’t play fair, and sometimes, neither can we.”
    • Ducky’s pragmatic approach to dealing with crime and justice.
  14. “People don’t change, Jethro. They just reveal who they really are.”
    • A Ducky truism about human nature.
  15. “Life is not about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away.”
    • A reflective quote that shows Ducky’s appreciation for life’s precious moments.

These quotes capture the essence of Dr. Donald “Ducky” Mallard’s wisdom, humor, and warmth, making him one of the most beloved characters in NCIS.

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